Mourning and Delirium


Small Town Granum
Originally uploaded by lithiumfrost.
This morning around 7 AM or so I learned that my paternal grandfather had passed away a few hours earlier. He immigrated here in the 50's after serving with the Dutch Army in Indonesia. After the death of one of my uncles and my grandmother, he eventually retired and did some travelling with one of my Aunts. However, the last few years have been rough and he has not left the Granum/Claresholm area where he lived the last 50 years due to emphysema and subsequent complications.

I feel fortunate to have visited him on as semi frequent basis for the last few years, and I am certain I will cherish those memories in the years to come. He had hoped for his reunion with the Lord, as he has been in a lot of pain for quite some time. Still, it's never easy letting go.

I must admit that though I have much to accomplish in the coming weeks, and even to do this week as I prepare for the funeral, I feel at odds. And I feel like my head is in a fog. The young do not often experience pain or immobility, so I am finding it to be disconcerting searching for a pill desperately every 6 hours before my jaw begins to ache unbearably. It begins to profoundly affect you, though finally biological ncessity got to me on the 4th day as I became starved for food. But eating is no longer a pleasant experience.

I am planning a trip to the dentist to find out exactly what is wrong. I am worried that I may have a post operative infection.